Photo: Caitlin Cunningham

WHAT I'VE LEARNED

Thomas D. Stegman, SJ

Reflections from the outgoing dean of the Boston College School of Theology and Ministry.泭

In keeping with the advice of his medical team, Stegman stepped down this summer from his position as dean of the Boston College School of Theology and Ministry. Stegman, who is 59, was diagnosed in 2019 with glioblastoma, an incurable form of brain cancer. The school flourished during his six years as dean, ascending to the upper echelons of world rankings while maintaining its warm and welcoming culture. Following a year-long sabbatical, Stegman plans to rejoin the schools faculty.

Im not the God of my life. I know that Im a creature. I didnt give myself life. But when we are able to accomplish certain things, when were able to feel like were in control, its easy to forget that Im not God. With my illness, and remembering that Im not in control, Im appreciating that all there is about life really is a gift. Im appreciating bird song in the morning, and Im noticing the gentle breezes, which are a reminder to me of Gods presence, of Gods Spirit re-creating the face of the earth every day and Gods pouring his love into our hearts, refreshing us.

Open yourself to others. Ive kind of operated by, You want something done right? Well, do it yourself. That way you dont have to be dependent on others. That works for a lot of things in life. Certainly in the area of scholarship and studiesnobody can do it for you, right? But theres a shadow side to that. I can wall myself off from others, and wall myself off from what has always been true, which is that we really do need one another. I have benefited from so much love and support from people here at Boston College and beyond. I find myself very grateful for others in ways that I havent been before. I teach these things, but I think I have become better at living them.

Greatness is measured in many ways. The 窪蹋勛圖厙STM has been very productive. Pedagogy is taken seriously here, as is the formation of students in the classroom. The faculty produces publishing-wise, and the rankings are fine. But Im more concerned with striving for greatness as its set forth in the Gospels. Jesus reverses the calculus, so to speak: To be truly great is to serve, to give of yourself in loving service to others, to become more generous and more magnanimous.

Being a dean is a lot like coaching a team. You try to put people in a position to succeed, play to their strengths, give them help and support. But dont ask them to do things theyre not good at or passionate about. You learn what their strengths are, you play to that.

Take risks and push yourself. The other side of just playing to your strengths is that its easy to get into a comfort zone in life, to do only the things that I like and am good at. While training people for the ministry, I encourage them to try things they havent done before. Have you ever done chaplaincy work? Have you ever done hospice work? We grow by allowing ourselves to be challenged, and by looking at those areas of our lives thatwe can improve upon.

Make use of all the time thats given to you. It took me about three weeks from the time of my diagnosis to Google glioblastoma. It took me a long time because I knew it was pretty dire. And then I read the statistics. The median lifespan after the diagnosis and first treatment is fourteen months. And here I am at thirty-five months. About 5 percent make it to five years. So, its like theres two minutes left in the game. What can we get done? What needs to get done? And thats really a sharper focus that I actually find very helpful.

Recognize your blessings. A student who learned of my illness asked me if I ever get angry with God. I told her no, not for one second. I have lived a blessed life. I have received so many blessings through the Society of Jesus in terms of the education Ive been given, the health care Ive received through our benefactors. Ive been able to travel as a Jesuit. I have so much to be grateful for. I can go back to many times where I can see God was leading me through circumstances, through people. If I had to go tomorrow, I wouldnt be happy or thrilled about it, but I would also be able to look back at a very rich, full life. So it didnt take me long to answer the students question: No, Im not angry with God because God has been so good to me.泭


Theres much more to this conversation. To listen to the entire泭Boston College Magazine泭梯棗餃釵硃莽喧,泭泭


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